Heartbreak and Home

by arnisty

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1.
back and forth 02:37
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Back and forth Head lifted up Feels like I’m flying No sadness allowed Love/laugh like a child And you’re qualified [hmmmm] Hold on tight Hum a little tune Let the wind bite, it just feels warm Keep your legs moving Don’t stop Oh but it’s time [hmmmm] Back and forth Head lifted up Feels like I’m flying (repeat) [hmmmm] Breathe in the freedom Hold it in Go back
2.
room 02:56
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3.
push myself down 04:12
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Feel like I’m suffocating Choking on my own thoughts Keep talking myself into positions like this My mind keeps on going in circles I always assume things, and I’m hardly ever mild I pity myself, I hate myself I climb back up, then think of something small and fall back in It’s like I’m desperately looking for a hole to lie down in While digging into it even deeper Finding every single reason to push myself down And I hit the floor again I pity myself, I hate myself I climb back up, then think of something small and fall back in Why does this keep on happening, why do I do this? Why does this keep on happening, why do I do this? Why does this keep on happening, why do I do this? Why does this keep on happening, why do I do this? I know I have a thing for crying And I sometimes like feeling sad But this goes way past and I feel Like I’m going wild I pity myself, I hate myself I climb back up, then think of something small and fall back in
4.
this is me 02:02
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This is me I eat enough I am healthy But I mostly see the same numbers on my scales I am not fragile I’ve never broken a thing It’s like my body got stuck in the past I have the hands and feet of a child And when you touch me it’s mostly bone But I’ll carry my body with pride I’m small I am skinny But this is me And this is me This is me
5.
not rooting for us 03:24
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I don’t know why I ever picked you, I guess I must’ve been blind Something must’ve been wrong, I guess I lost my vision Whatever spark I ever felt for you, I know I lost it The thought of you was surely better than the real thing Do I solely feel desire of could this turn into love? You can get your hopes up but I doubt it I’m not rooting for us [hmmm] At first you seemed almost perfect but I started seeing through you There’s nothing inside, so literally right through You’ll get over it, just smoke some and pop a pill Clearly that’s what you live for and I can’t reside in that picture Do I solely feel desire of could this turn into love? You can get your hopes up but I doubt it I’m not rooting for us [hmmm] So give it up, I already did, this will never be Never us, just a you and a me Do I solely feel desire of could this turn into love? You can get your hopes up but I doubt it I’m not rooting for us [hmmm]
6.
second home 02:26
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Sitting in the car for what felt like forever But we knew it was worth it Soon we would get there We were getting closer I saw where we’re headed It felt like relief, I was finally home again Surrounded by mountains Breathe in the fresh air This is where I belong This is what I call my home [oooooooooh] Friends with the local kids We would not understand their words But we did everything else Just a few weeks a year Felt quite long But never enough, oh never enough Surrounded by mountains Breathe in the fresh air This is where I belong This is what I call my home Mountains and trees landscapes, as far as I can see This is where I belong This is what I call my home
7.
not a lovesong 02:50
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The little things that you say They make me smile all day You might not think them through But they mean so much to me I’m glad you walked into my life, you made it a lot better If you ever walked back out, I would be truly sad But wait what is happening to me I didn’t mean to write a lovesong Look at what you made me do I didn’t mean to write a lovesong Now we’re back to the verse I could say something sweet, but this is not what I intended Yes okay, you’re very nice and I really like you But I didn’t mean to write about that Help what is happening to me Did I just write a lovesong You must really inspire me But I didn’t mean to write a lovesong Now we’re here but I have nothing else to say except for what’s already been said So I think I’m gonna hum a bit over the next few bars [hmmmm] Help what is happening to me I didn’t mean to write a lovesong Look at what you made me do I didn’t mean to write a lovesong So let’s be clear Repeat after me I didn’t mean to write a lovesong
8.
realise 02:18
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Getting from one point to another without travelling Teleporting in the most annoying way I get home and I pour myself into bed Tryin' to feel the sheets closing me in Tryin' to feel anything at all Floating in this vast space of nothingness But at least there are stars All these bright lights to keep me company But I still feel alone
9.
yesterday 02:25
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Yesterday was cool What am I saying? It was fantastic There were nice people There was nice food And I heard good things And I laughed And I danced And I felt pretty But I mostly liked the part Where your lips met mine [birds]

credits

released July 27, 2021

Lore De Raeymaekers, songs
Rudi Mertens, arrangement and production

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all rights reserved

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arnisty Leuven, Belgium

arnisty loves tree climbing, walking barefoot and singing seemingly simple songs.

No defences. No coolness. Just a pure voice and authentic songwriting. She sings of childhood memories and tales of ordinary confusion. Or simply apologising to her room because she's moving. ... more

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